Church folk have long assumed that family relationships should be defined by marriage. But a serious search of scripture reveals that it is counterproductive, and is clearly an affront to biblical obligation. The transcendent view of family is adoption into the family of God (Roman 8:16-17). For instance, all believers relate to one another from the stance of belonging to God through Jesus Christ. Hence, family is defined by faith in Jesus Christ and not marriage.

The error of defining family by marriage and not faith in Jesus often elevates married folk as having more value than singles. There is this subliminal pressure brought to bear on singles that often cause singles to feel out of place. This mood is often reinforced by making a model of local leadership that constitutes a nuclear family. Hence, many singles are under-appreciated, under-utilized, under -valued, under-rated and under- stimulated. In fact, married folk may even feel insecure or threatened by the presence of some singles. At the same time singleness is viewed by many as less than best. So, how should we restore the biblical value of singles?

1. Define family relationships in terms of belonging to God in Christ Jesus. “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ…(Romans 8:16-17).” Further, “ His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3).” We are all children of God with transcendent value.

2. Celebrate singleness as a gift just as marriage is adored as a gift. Singles are gifted with abilities and opportunities to advance the divine cause of God without the constraints of an immediate family unit (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).

3. Remind people that singleness is just as much a choice or spiritual undertaking with sacrifice as is a marriage. Both requires sacrifice. While a single adult will not have the experience of sexual intimacy and having biological children, married folk may experience hardship due to a spouse becoming addicted to substance, or simply not being able to have children (Matthew 19:10-12; 1 Corinthians 7:6-9). In this broken world, the most significant thing about us is who we are in Christ.

4. Be sensitive to the reality that many are single not by choice but by circumstances. Steer clear of devaluing singles and seek to improve the circumstances of singles.

5. Married folk need to allow singles to talk for themselves. Singles, as children of God are competent enough to speak up in the the family of faith.

Today, let’s begin to restore the biblical value of singles.

--Dr. Peter Joseph, Pastor, Philadelphia and Redemption Seventh-day Adventist churches